Every time I turn on the radio there he is-on almost every freaking channel. I am starting to think all my local stations should just change their name to “Lil Wayne Radio”. And I am starting to feel like any artist who has him on their tracks are ever more sell outs than they already are. Maybe I would feel a bit different if the man could actually sing or rap about some shit that has some substance. Yeah, in the past couple years he’s had maybe one song that talks on some real issues, but for the most part it’s all sex and weed. That’s just so original for a rapper to talk about. I used to really like Wayne during his younger days, but all this overexposure celebs get nowadays drives me insane. I understand a song might be great but like I’ve stated on other issues, I don’t appreciate anything being shoved down my throat.

That neeeeeee neeee weeeeee bleeding out goat voice he uses does not even tempt me to download his music for free. Tattoos on the face? What? Are your trying to look like Charles Manson. I know you are a celebrity and don’t have to worry about stuff like everyday people, and I love tattoos don’t get me wrong, but all over your face? So trashy. I am no Miss American, but I can’t even look at this guy anymore without getting the heebie jeebies. Lil Wayne has got a dark nether world vibe to him as of late.

Dude wants to be a hardcore rapper type yet he does songs with all the weirdo hipster kids. I don’t really see how that gives him street cred. It fills his bank account and I presume that’s all he’s worried about anyway.

I give it 10 years. Either he’ll be dead or he’ll be making Disney movies with Ice Cube.

Anyways, after all that my husband and I decided rather than struggle to pay rent and bills with only his paycheck we would move back in with my parents and save enough to move down to Texas where we prefer to live. Big mistake. Just like it was the last time we moved back here. Only last time we were forced.

I have realized that my family is ok in small doses, VERY small doses. Two years ago it was my mom, dad, brother, grandpa, and my husband, and I in this house. Now it’s a big house so it was never like we were cramped. Well, my grandpa passed in those years leaving the rest. Every morning I am awakened by violent screaming between my father and my brother. He is a 24 year old unemployed drug addict. He screams and yells about “I hate my life!, If you don’t give me $20 I am going to kill myself!” He gets on average about $40 a day from my parents to put gas in his guzzler Tahoe then spends the rest on weed and meth. Every few weeks he uses their credit cards to go shopping at Dillard’s to buy clothes he can’t afford to impress girls he can’t afford either. I never pictured my brother turning out to be such a douchebag but it is what it is.

The other day my mother and I went to pick up some groceries. My brother asked our mom to get him something sweet. She bought him some Fiddle Faddle and Swiss Rolls. He decided that wasn’t enough and wanted Sweettarts. She said no and he continued to blow her phone up for 10 miles sending texts telling my mom how she doesn’t love him and how he wants to die because she doesn’t care enough to buy him fucking Sweettarts. Like seriously!! You are a grown man and this is what you come down to?

My brother lost his job as an electrician apprentice because he thought he could pick and choose when he went to work. Wrong. So it’s been over a year and he has not went to school. He ran his 02 Silverado into a pond to collect insurance money but that did not work. Instead he collected a $12,000 fine and six years probation. So instead of trying to go back to school he is content with forever bumming off my parents and screaming violently until they give him money. He does this all in front of his friends. It’s really disgusting and he brings my mom to tears daily, yet she still falls prey to his intimidations. All he has to say are the magic words-”I’ll kill myself”.

I am no saint. I actually did attempt suicide when I was 15. I hated being poor, I hated my violent dysfunctional white trash family. I used drugs to escape my pain and I stayed away from home about 4 out of seven days of the week. I spent all my time raving and living in a fantasy candy world. It was great. Until I realized I had to grow up. I had all my wild days as a teen and through my early 20s. My bro never did drugs or partied until about 2 years ago-when he turned 22. Now it has been nonstop and I fear for his life. I am sure my fam thought the same way about me but if you knew my family at all you would know that caring and compassion is not their strong point.

My mom never finished the 10th grade and I do not think she was ever great at school to begin with. She is shy, uncultured, and riddled with anxiety. My dad’s father left him and his brother and sister when he was 7. Grandma remarried to an army general. He was mean, tough, and abusive to my father and my grandmother. Still, they stayed together until her passing 3 years ago. A lot of that abusive tendencies transferred to my dad. He was mean and took it was too far with my brother and I. I resented him most of my life and rebelled against him since I turned about 10 years old. My mother is a sweet woman but not very worldly if you know what I mean.

Living here is like being thrown back into my childhood without the belt whippings and the falling apart house. All the emotions are still here. I hate having my husband to have to deal with this but his family is so stuck up and they have no compassion for the weak. They show no appreciation to people that are trying to make it in the world only those who have already made it.

I have always took the hard road in life and I honestly believe this is the path my soul intends me to take. But shit, this is hard. In two weeks my husband is losing his job because the cooperation he works for does not want to employ unions so they are moving to another state that does not have them. So even though he is a contractor, he and about 500 other employees have lost their jobs. Moving out-of-state is our only option because frankly, Arkansas does not have shit for jobs.

So right now we are faced with living with my crazy family who gives help when they are in no position, dealing with my husband’s family who will not offer any assistance when they have more than enough to give, and making it on our own by reaching for the sky hoping God is there to grab our hand.

When I was younger I always thought at 26 I would be living comfortable in my own house with a great career. Funny how life gives you exactly what you never wanted. Maybe I should just start turning all my wishes of the future into things I do not want. But then again the heart doesn’t lie so I am not sure I could get away with that. All I know is that even though I dislike my family so much and I hate the way day to day life is here and that I resent the way my husband’s family treats us like crap, I know that someday we will be able to hold our own and will not need anyone else. So I’ll put up with reading food in the freezer labeled with letters like,” Ann and Brandon did not buy. If you touch this I will break your fucking fingers.” for a few more weeks because I know this will be the last time I have to deal with these people again. Family is good even though I may hate them.

It’s not enough I have this obnoxiousness in my face when I am home trying to relax. Now I have to witness this nonsense while shopping, giant tvs hanging from the aisles advertising crap just in case I forgot about it while away from home. And when I am pumping gas, wtf? Oh and let’s not forget how we can’t watch a web video now without being bombarded with ads that we can’t turn down or skip through before the video starts! All of that on top of radio, billboard, and periodical ads. Enough is enough!

I will honestly say that I am actually turned completely off from buying a product with an annoying commercial. I prefer to browse the store aisle and by chance come across something that is useful. I do not need ads shoved down my throat to persuade me to buy something. If these companies made quality products or gave great service then word of mouth should do just fine. If I want to buy clothes I go to a store I always go to. If I am hungry, I swing by whatever’s close. I am never driving along thinking about that Baconator I saw @ Wendy’s and drive out of my way to get one. I don’t go to my doctor and ask about pills I seen on tv, that’s his job to tell me what I need. This commercial overload is driving me mad. I could just turn the tv off but then again I haven’t came back to the ablity to just sit in quiet and be at one with my thoughts. (It’s kinda scary sitting in silence and I LOVE music but my library would get repetitive at some point.)  Gotta go, there is a juice that helps osteoporosis in 6 days being advertised and I think my brain is starting to smoke and sizzle.

If we can’t access pages that go in-depth about what we are searching for, how will we be able to truly educate ourselves about anything? Maybe that’s what the aim is. I guess I could go to the library but I do not have time or the patience for all of that.  I think the majority of people do not care about the who, what, when, where, and whys of a situation but I do. Is it that search engines are really censoring content or are people getting stupid so it all needs to be filtered,  giving just enough  details to allow the reader to form an opinion?  I believe America is  purposely averted from learning the truth on many things. We are being distracted by tv, shopping, keeping our homes looking like a magazines, and having the latest technology. Cell phone projectors, really? So after all that we are too overwhelmed to even care about  things like scientific research, religion, lies we’ve been told about history, or government scandal.

Yeah I know it’s hard for a lot of people to even want to care about real issues, but we can’t just let the  government and secret organizations  give us the illusion of freedom by showing just enough to make us believe that we are not being kept from anything. The makings of the NWO are being put into effect more as the days go by. You should be afraid of this so go research it while you still have the chance.

Censorship reflects society’s lack of confidence in itself.  It is a hallmark of an authoritarian regime.  ~Potter Stewart

I am very pissed that CBS chose to pervert a classic children’s cartoon. But even through their flabberghasting actions, I have learned something. As tv viewers we are subjected to vulgarity at it’s most high almost every minute while tuned in. We are fed inappropriate messages  both subliminally and outright. I think we do not notice because we are adults and we are accustomed to a more mature subject matter. But put those conversations over a children’s cartoon and the context becomes quite clear for what it really is. It’s not only disturbing that Frosty is now talking about porn collections and alluding to pedophilia in the video, the pure subject of the “How I Met Your Mother” scene is offensive and filthy. Having been heard and seen through the mouths of the actual actors, I will go ahead and say a man joking about porn and lethal injection would probably have not even raised an eyebrow.

Watching this video has been a tool for me to really think about what I hear on tv and thinking about if I am really hearing what actors are saying. I am not a prude and am definitely not adverse to being offensive, but there is a time, place, and situation for all things. I fear for our society when there are no limits to how far the line can be pushed. With the media continuing to  overstep boundaries like this, decency will soon be an archaic virtue.

U.S. Top News Stories for 12-6-09:

Sarah Palin-What She Said at Gridiron Dinner joking about twitter and poking fun at herself  Clinton Hasn’t Looked Into Knox Case American woman wants Hilary to repeal prison sentence received in Italy for murder. Thinks anti-Americanism is to blame. Hilary is currently working on Afghanistan policy.  Man On Bike Caught Stealing Christmas Tree Really? This is headline news? Baucus Nominated Girlfriend for U.S. Attorney Another adulterous politician Obama Zeroes In On Jobs, Healthcare, Afghanistan Our main worries Search Continues For Suspected Wis. Killer He’s still out there Massachusetts Woman’s Bag Get’s Stuck In Moving Subway Another griping news developement

World News Headlines:

Copenhagen Talks Tough on Climate Protest Plans Beer warehouse transformed into prison for protestors during U.N. conference Funerals Held For Victims of Russian Nightclub Fire 112 dead, several arrested Obama Rejects Criticism on Afghan Exit Timing More on Afghanistan? Clashes Erupt as Athens Marks Anniversary of Death 6000 police deployed, tear gas, fires, rock throwing Iran Outrage and a Warning Over Swiss Vote to Ban Minuarets Is a fight starting here? AFP official: Keep Maguindanao Martial Law Till Polls citizens can vote without being massacred Gates:No Good Intelligence on Bin Laden been  years since contact but we want to remind you In Bolivia, a Force for Change Endures “conquering the minds of the nation, bend to the will of majority, spying, Karl Marx, socialism, Europeans are capitalist racists”  Turkey Says No More Troops for Afghanistan, West Cannot Deprive Iran of Nuclear Know-how, Rwanda: Blames Govt. for Attacks on Darfur,Royal Family’s Difficult Relationship With Paparazzi

America’s problems seem to conveniently pale in comparison. We have men stealing Christmas tree’s on bicycles for fucks sake! Silly American’s, crime is for the rest of the world!